11 August 2026, The Sphinx

The Sphinx is an ancient mythical guardian of truth and knowledge. The Sphinx speaks only in random riddles, never repeating or explaining. The manipulation machine runs on responses and confrontation. When every defence, correction, or comeback is fuel, the Sphinx answers with no defence or attack, offers no agreement or denial, no repetition or explanation. This is how the Sphinx starves the machine.

The power of the Sphinx is fun and disarming and can give confidence to parents, teachers, and to deal with anyone who pushes your buttons or boundaries regularly.

What does the Sphinx look like?

“Mum, can I have my TV back for my exercise DVD — I can’t work out without it.”

“There’s more than one way to wrap a fish. And still, sardines are not always impressed.”

Of course, the Sphinx assumes the teen understands the TV’s part of the grounding.

More Sphinxes for similar moves:

“I just find it very hard to exercise without the DVD.” → “The floor’s been arguing with the bed for years. Although this is not how it ends.” // “Hard is how the floor knows it’s exercising. A Croatian saying.” // “There are seven kinds of hard, and yours is the Thursday type. Review next Thursday.”
“But that’s not even WATCHING, it’s exercise!” → “Watching and exercising are neighbours. They don’t share tools.”
“Are you doing this on purpose?” → “Purpose is a duvet that wraps emotions. Exercise is not one of them.” // “Nothing on purpose is in this house before noon. It’s in the policy.”
“You’re basically stopping me from exercising // making it hard for me.” → “Some exercise is doors and some is windows. DVDs are walls.” // “Making it harder would take effort, and the effort is rationed here — the mornings get it first.” // “Stopping you exercising needs paperwork. We’re a verbal household.”
“Exercise is so important!” → “Exercise is important. DVDs are furniture. Different shelves.”// “Most important things get through Tuesdays. That’s how you can tell.”
“My exercise is supposed to be done as a sequence.” → “Supposed to is doing a lot of work in that sentence. That’s between you and the sentence.” // “Sequence serves the sequencer. Exercise serves the exerciser.”
“What’s that supposed to even mean!” → “Interpretations are self-aggrandisements. They never land on their stomach.” // “Explanations make it harder. Exercise is one-way only.” // “It means what it means.” // “Nothing’s supposed to mean. Meanings volunteer.” // “It means what it means. They all do, mostly.” // “Meanings travel at their own pace. That’s just post.”

More word salad examples to help disarm the opponent:

“The floor holds classes at 7. Don’t thank me — it’s strict about attendance.”
“Working out and watching out are cousins. Only one inherits.”
“The Greeks trained in fields and invented everything. Coincidence isn’t.”
“No-one got fitter from the lack of television. Only the heavy ones when carried up the stairs. It will be in history books.”
“An unplugged squat weighs double. Old gym saying.”
“Effort travels anticlockwise in this house. The DVDs only spin one way.”
“Stopping exercise takes equipment we don’t own, because it’s not been invented yet — possibly in the next few years.”

This absence of graspable meaning triggers the orienting response — the half-second freeze when attention is seized and the planned script stalls. The next few seconds, the attacker’s mind combs for a meaning that would make the sentence make sense. That is your exit window. If exit isn’t possible, use it to redirect the conversation.

Exit as soon as you can. If they continue talking at you as you’re walking away, let them. Backs don’t have ears.

The No-Sphinx

There are other amusing answers, of course, that aren’t the Sphinx. These are tempting because they provide a momentary sense of victory, but they are traps. As you read them, consider how each prolongs rather than ends the confrontation, might be cited unfavourably, sounds adversarial, or may even be misinterpreted, used against you or turned around in your teenager’s favour:

“How am I supposed to keep fit?” → “Your body, your business.” // “Your grounding, your business.” // “Your body remembers the moves.” // “Squats work unplugged. That’s one of their features.” // “The floor’s open 24 hours. I don’t control the floor.” // “Exercise predates television.”
“So I can’t do exercise — thanks!” → “The TV is grounded. Exercise never was.” // “If you want to exercise, nothing can stop you.”
“Are you doing this on purpose?” → “Some things happen on Tuesdays, some on time or on holidays. Purpose is not in the calendar.”
“Exercise is so important!” → “It is. That’s why it works without accessories.” // “Very important. That’s why it doesn’t need a telly.” // “Exercise is important, which is why it’s kept off-screen.”

The Sphinx v. No-Sphinx

The Sphinx delivers a grammatically correct, seemingly relevant answer — it borrows a word from the attack, or sounds like folk wisdom or deep knowledge — but it is, even on surface examination, devoid of meaning. // The No-Sphinx offers meaning or judgement and aims for wit over wisdom.

The Sphinx is syntactically whole, semantically empty. It causes a momentary confusion and invites a brief mental search for its meaning while having none. // The No-Sphinx wears its meaning on the sleeve. The meaning can be argued with.

The Sphinx falls into no set traps. It sidesteps provocations. // The No-Sphinx spars.

The Sphinx latches onto a shard of a weapon: just a word or a shade of the meaning is transformed into an illusion of an argument — an irresistible trap for them, and your exit fog. // The No-Sphinx parries the weapon.

When to Sphinx

Deploy the Sphinx on games — moves where the words aren’t the real message or a question doesn’t look for a genuine answer, only for an argument. When answering doesn’t serve you, silence escalates, and the asker wants a handle — a denial to overturn, a reason to argue, an emotion to minimise — the Sphinx offers no handle. For example:

Jabs, e.g. at your appearance, age, habits, eating, routines (“you look tired”)
Probes and surveillance — mapping your safeguards, habits, weak points (“why do you check the doors in that order?”)
The dossier / diagnosis — assembled observations delivered as diagnosis (“you control everything — did something happen to you?” // “this might be your ADHD playing up”)
Borrowed-authority diagnoses — “My friend’s mum says people who drink a lot of coffee get jittery like that”
Mind-reads — “I know what you’re thinking”
Instrumental caretaking — concern deployed as a crowbar (“are you okay? you seem mad at me” // “have I done something to upset you?”)
Sieges — the same demand re-iterated after the answer’s been given (“Please darling, you can’t ground Clara from the fair tomorrow. We are relying on her.”)
Sarcasm and charge-reframes — “so you’re sabotaging my health ON PURPOSE, thanks!”

Never sphinx

The general rule is that the manipulation machine gets the Sphinx one back; a person gets a person.

Never sphinx:

Sincere reaching // genuine distress. Any question you’d want answered if it were meant — regret, pain, wantedness, belonging (“do you wish you hadn’t adopted me?”, “did I make you cry?”). Those get the closed truthful anchor, every time, even mid-battle.
Live petitions and first asks. These need a ruling, not a riddle — fog in round one reads as ambiguity to appeal (“you never actually said no”).

Anything important or with a consequence attached, when ambiguity can create problems, should be answered clearly and concretely, with understanding confirmed if possible. Do not waste the Sphinx on cheap confirmations: even if you have one in mind, facts that are costless to confirm (“is dinner at six?”) devalue the Sphinx and pointlessly delay quick confirmations.

Don’t deploy a half-baked Sphinx or when you can’t deliver the Sphinx well. If the exit isn’t available and your deadpan isn’t either, use the wall or a broken record. Angry Sphinx, smirked Sphinx, or a bad Sphinx you’ll be badgered into explaining are all worse than nothing at all.

The two formulas to start you off

Apply these recipes to mint your own nonsense forever, or design your own.

The general Sphinx formula

The general Sphinx formula has three parts:

A warm receipt — “that’s fair,” “good question,” “you’re not wrong,” “probably,” “exactly,” “could be,” “probably, and …”
A concrete household noun — kettle, stairs, socks, landing, towels, Tuesday
A rule about it that almost parses — “…only works before lunch,” “…knows before we do,” “…faces the wrong way in October.”

Any receipt + any noun + optional conjunction + almost-rule = fresh nonsense

“It’s like my ballet instructor says: even the grill is up and down. Still, patties are cooked right through.”

Alternative Formula

Another formula is applicable in some scenarios (e.g. this has been used across the I Know What You Are Thinking section) and worth bearing in mind.

Generalise it. E.g. generalise the mind or thoughts as a class, never this specific thought or concrete situation. Pick any vessel to carry it. E.g. thoughts can be like weather, drafts, committee, fridge, library, broadcast, appointments. Years can be like spoons. Relationships could be like fridges.
Include yourself. E.g. when the manipulator “knows what you’re thinking,” include yourself in the unknowing: “Even I don’t get the final version”. When marriages are like tractors or bicycles, yours might be a bicycle.
Close with law, not a defence — a rule of nature can’t be argued with; a rebuttal can. State it as how minds simply work, delivered as common knowledge. E.g., “it could be just physics” or “that’s what they write on cake boxes in Croatia.” Fake authority can also be deployed here.

Generalise + Include yourself + Close with law = unassailable statement they need to Google to verify

“Even rivers are not straight. We measured in geography. They always swirl in the middle.”

Valuable additions

There are dozens of amazing and annoying additions you can weave in with the Sphinx. Here are just a few to consider.

defer (“my grandmother always said” // “someone I once knew ate like this”)
anthropomorphise (“calendar is always hyperactive around midday”) or animism (e.g. house-animism “the house heard that,” or “food doesn’t have a preference”)
add a bureaucratic tail (“resubmit” // “I’ll add for the committee in spring”)
a promise (“we’ll see” // “let’s reconsider”)
fake authority (“that’s just physics” // “pure nanothought”)
made-up words (glumptious, narbate, cerrublate)
tautology (I said what I said, you heard as you heard, it means what it means, it is what it is, that’s that)

Delivery notes

Never repeat

The Sphinx is single use. A manipulator can script against a line but not against a generator.

Never fight

The Sphinx delivers in deadpan earnest. Warm, thoughtful, faintly mysterious tone — as if genuinely sharing wisdom. Sincerity, calm, low volume are key: never sarcasm or mockery. The faintest smirk converts it to a confrontation; delivered sincerely it’s unclassifiable.

Never overuse

The Sphinx is unpredictable. Nonsense comes out occasionally, seemingly at random. The Sphinx is spice, not staple: it works by novelty.

Never falter

Practice delivery, as fluency is key. Train your inner Sphinx by replying to everything you hear — but only inside your head.

Never explain

Overturn repeat and explanation requests with pre-baked phrases such as “it doesn’t repeat well,” “you heard the important part” or “exactly” and move on as soon as you can. Be silent if exit is impossible.

Never linger

(Assists the Never explain.) Exit immediately or deliver in passing. Sometimes it is not possible to exit immediately or the other party will escalate to press you or to provoke an argument. Instead of engaging on their terms, default to almost-meaningful phrases such as:

“You heard”
“As agreed”
“Just as I said”
“We’ve discussed”
“No idea”
“Asked and answered”

The Sphinx in action

A manipulator’s method needs your responses to be usable — an answer to argue, a reason to overturn, anger to note. The Sphinx has no such handle, and it’s the least quotable thing you can say, and so is unlikely to be used against you. With skill and persistence, you may be able to pattern-interrupt the perpetrator sufficiently so as to train them not to push, probe, pry, and poke.

Once you understand the DOs and DON’Ts and have deployed and seen the Sphinx in action a few times, you will use it confidently — and have fun with it too.

Some examples of the Sphinx that follow have been marked with codes to demo the structure. These codes are at the end of this page.

Universal

Have these universal statements at the ready so as to remark on any question or statement thrown at you.

“You know, my grandmother used to say the same thing, only backwards, and she was usually right both ways.” (CFA)
“That’s the thing about questions like that — they answer themselves the moment you stop carrying them upstairs.” (WC)
“Interesting. Although in my experience it’s less about the asking and more about which direction the words are facing.” (WCAD)
“Mm. That’s tomorrow’s question arriving early — it happens near the weekend.” (UCA)
“Great question. Wrong angle, though — questions land better from the front. That’s just physics.” (WAPF)
“Oh, lovely question. Wasted on the back of my head, mind — this side doesn’t take questions.” (WCA)
“Great question, only asked upwards when answers pool at the floor level. Resubmit.” (WCAB)
“Strong idea. Address it to the front desk and we’ll see.” (WBF)

“You look really tired”

“Could be. Tuesdays arrive earlier than they used to.” (UCA)
“Mm. It’s the light in this hallway — it comes in at a very honest angle.” (UCA)
“Doesn’t bother me. Tired is just the face thinking ahead.” (LPA)

“It must / could be your age”

“Probably. The good years take up more room.” (UAP)
“Could be. Age is mostly a rumour you agree to.” (UP)
“Mm, every cake knows its candles — that’s why they lean.” (UPAC)
“Age is a ladder in the dark. You count rungs going up, not down — old saying.” (PF)
“Mm. The calendar eats, but it never washes up.” (UA)
“Birthdays are doors painted on walls. My grandmother swore by that.” (FP)
“Years are like spoons — nobody knows where the missing ones go, and nobody’s checked the drawer. A Kazakh saying.” (FP)
“Candles don’t age the cake. In the Czech Republic, they write this on the box.” (PF)
“Years are like puddles. You can never count how deep by looking.”

Folk wisdom that doesn’t exist

“Well — a door only creaks when it’s thinking.” (PA)
“That’s what they say about February people, and they’re rarely all wrong.” (PN)
“An empty kettle whistles longest. My gran lived by that.” (PF)
“You can’t hang a coat on a question. Well — you can, but it wrinkles.” (PC)
“That often happens. As long as salt before butter, the rest sorts itself.” (WPCR)

Sincere agreement with nothing

“You’re not wrong. It’s the not-wrongness that’s interesting.” (WNC)
“Exactly. Although — and this is the part people miss — also the opposite.” (WNC)
“That’s fair. Most things are, from the landing.” (WUC)
“I’ve thought the same thing, usually on the way back from thinking something else.” (WC)

Misdelivered profundity

“Mm. The stairs know before we do. That’s just physics.” (ACF)
“Some questions are chairs and some are corridors. That one’s a corridor.” (T)
“It’s like my yoga teacher says — the breath doesn’t care who started it.” (FA to e.g. “You started this” / “You do it all the time”)
“Time does that near bathrooms. Nobody knows why.” (FAP)
“Every house has one wall that hears better than the others. We don’t talk about which.” (AC)

Administrative non-sequitur (consult an inner calendar)

“Hold that thought — is it Wednesday? It has a Wednesday quality.” (CB)
“Noted for the minutes. Next item.” (CB)
“That’s a question for the second Tuesday of the month. You’ve just missed one.” (BCR)
“I’ll raise it with the committee.” (there is no committee; never explain the committee) (BF)

All-purpose tails

Invent these to attach to any Sphinx, then walk.

“…anyway, the kettle’s facing the wrong way again.”
“…my aunt had the same theory about Thursdays.”
“…it’s usually the socks that decide these things.”

Handling jabs

“You wear that cardigan every day” //

granny clothes, second-hand clothes //

“Did you buy that in a charity shop?”

“This cardigan has seniority. It signed things you weren’t here for.” (AC)
“Every day is a different cardigan if you know where to look.” (C)
“Grannies invented looking. I’m just borrowing the method.” (CF)
“Granny fashion is a tree. The leaves come back — they always know the way.” (PC)
“This cardigan’s in its autumn. Spring does what spring does.” (CT)
“Trees don’t follow fashion. Fashion follows trees. Everyone knows that.” (FPAC)
“All colour comes from somewhere. Mine commutes.”

“Why is dinner always at six?” //

“Normal people eat at eight”

(Also see Not natural / Not normal section.)

“Six is when the kitchen expects us. It gets restless otherwise.” (AM)
“Normal people eat when their houses eat. This house eats at six.” (AP)
“Eight o’clock dinner is a six o’clock dinner that lost its way.” (PA)
“Time means things. Six is one of them. We’ll review it next year.” (MCB)
“Dinner time comes round full circle — that’s why it’s called round. Review’s in spring.” (ACFB)
“Six has meaning. It earns it back every day. We’ll revisit annually.” (MACB)

“This house is a museum” //

“This house is so old-fashioned”

“Museums are just houses that won arguments.” (AP)
“The olden days left us the good locks. We’re minding them.” (CA)
“Your house is welcome to visit ours. They’d have things to discuss.” (AC)
“Some houses are born exhibitions. Ours was born a museum. Houses don’t change their minds.” (AP)
“Every house has opinions. This one collects things it trusts.” (PA)
“The house heard that. It’s been called worse — by better.” (AC)

“What’s the point of yoga when you can’t touch your toes?” //

“I am naturally flexible. You do need yoga though. It’s your age.”

“Being bad at it is the advanced version. Takes years.”
“Flexibility is where the body keeps its opinions. Mine’s opinionated.”
“The point arrives around year ten. I’m not rushing it.”
“My toes value their privacy. Yoga respects that.”
“Touching toes is surveillance. Yoga’s about consent.”
“The toes are free range. That’s the whole point.”

“You always sit in the same chair” //

“ You’re territorial like people get in a care home”

“Chairs choose. People just sit.”
“That chair’s been through things. We don’t move each other.”
“Territorial is what comfortable looks like from standing up.”
“The chair heard that. It’s got a long memory.”
“Careful. That chair’s territorial.”
“The chair and I don’t discuss the other chairs.”

“Your cooking is boring” //

“Same seven dinners each week” //

“You should check out TikTok for cooking tips”

“Boring is the seasoning you can’t see. Takes years.”
“Same seven dinners is how a week knows it’s a week.”
“Proper recipes are just boring ones that moved abroad.”
“The kitchen sets the menu. I just carry things.”
“Seven dinners is what this kitchen believes in.”
“The kitchen doesn’t do TikTok. It’s been asked.”

Instrumental caretaking

“You seem mad about something.” → “Doesn’t bother me. Weather does that on the way through.” (LCA)
“You say you’re okay but you don’t look okay.” → “Could be. Some faces rest louder than others.” (UCA)
“You say you’re okay but you don’t sound okay.” → “Hmm. World weighs more on Sundays.”
“Are you okay?” → “Absolutely. Bins go out on Tuesdays. Until then, I am calm.” // “Never better.”
“Are you still upset? It’s about this morning, isn’t it?” → “Mornings are mornings. Now is after. Next question.”

“This is not natural” //

“It is not normal when you …”

“Natural is a box too. Bigger label.”
“Exactly. Normal’s just the box with the label facing out.”
“Could be. Normal and not-normal share a wall, you know.”
“Probably. Most normal things started out not.”
“The door-checking thing isn’t normal.” → “The doors expect it. We don’t disappoint the doors.”
“Your night-time routine is over-the-top.” →

“Nights don’t close themselves. Someone has to see them out.”
“Always doing things in the same order is not normal.” →

“Same order is how the house knows it’s bedtime.”

“You need a therapist / to see someone / to talk to someone about that”

“Mm. I’ll add it to the spring list.”
“Therapists are booked out years ahead. Everyone good is. That’s the real crisis.”
“Could be. Talking’s a winter sport, though.”
“I do talk to someone. The someone varies.”
“Noted. The waiting list forms an orderly queue.”
“Mm. First the guttering, then the soul. There’s an order to a house.”

The dossier

E.g., “You control your desk, the schedule, the bedtimes, everything — did something happen to you?”

“Good inventory. You should invoice for this one.”
“Four things is a hobby. Five is a collection. I’ll let you know.”
“That’s a lot of things. I’ll have them looked at.”
“Noted, all four. The list thanks you.”

Triangulation

“My aunt Sonia says you should never wear turquoise with orange.” → “Your aunt Sonia has a good eye. Tell her turquoise sends regards.”
“Even Mrs Hodges asks if I am okay because I look so sad.” → “Mrs Hodges is like a biscuit aisle. You always get what you want.”
“Even Charlotte says I look down lately. It’s because of your rules.” → “Tell Charlotte she should charge for this. I can’t accept it for free. Come back with a price.”

“You and Dad just sit in the house in the evenings. You never go out. Is something going on for you two?”

“Noted for the marriage committee. The next sitting is in spring. We’ll assess then.”
“It’s the air in this house. It has a sitting quality — evenings especially.”
“Some marriages are tractors and some are bicycles. Ours is a bicycle.”

“I know what you’re thinking”

“Thoughts are like weather. By the time you’ve named one, it’s moved on.”
“Even I rarely know what I’m thinking before Thursday.”
“My thoughts run a day behind. You’re reading yesterday’s paper.”
“It’s mostly drafts in there. Even I don’t get the final version.”
“Thinking’s a committee up here. Nobody speaks for the whole room.”
“If you can read minds, you’ve got the wrong library.”
“Thoughts change when watched. Everyone knows that.”
“I don’t broadcast. Whatever signal you’re getting is someone else’s.”
“Minds are like fridges — the light’s only on when you open the door.”
“I think in rough copy. The fair copy never gets published.”
“What I’m thinking and what’s in my head are rarely the same thing.”
“You’d need an appointment. My thoughts don’t take walk-ins.”
“Sometimes what we think others think is not true. Actually it’s always.”

The challenged Sphinx

When challenged, the Sphinx never explains, never repeats, never hesitates. To get away, the Sphinx might do any of the following.

“See, the thing about that is —” (pause, small nod, walk away as if the sentence completed itself)
“You know what, that reminds me of —” (soft “hm,” resume whatever you were doing or walk). Never complete this: no “… cats need feeding,” no “… that email I got yesterday.”
A thoughtful pause, then “…huh.” — and walk. (C)
Pause, look, a mysterious hand gesture, exit with a “Yep” on the way out.
A small wave of the hand — “never mind, carry on” — and gone.
Gesture as if listening attentively, e.g. index finger raised near face, then, “This,” or “Exactly.” Walk immediately, pointing up, shaking finger if they keep talking as you walk.

Never repeat. “What?” is a demand for a second performance — a repeated nonsense line is a dead one: the first pass works by ambush, the second gives the manipulator a stationary target. It’s also a hook to keep you in the room. The sphinx doesn’t do encores.

Here’s what to do when asked to repeat:

“Exactly.” (warm nod, keep walking — as if the “what?” was agreement)
“You heard the important part.” (there wasn’t one; but the manipulator will audit for it)
“It doesn’t repeat well. Most true things don’t.”
A small wave of the hand — “never mind, carry on” energy — and gone.
Or nothing: you’re already three steps away. The on-the-way-past delivery does most of the anti-repeat work by itself.

The codes

The following codes are used to demonstrate the structure of some of the Sphinx deliveries.

W — a warm receipt
B — bureaucratic tail or deferral
C — confusion, e.g. Catachresis, i.e. the deliberate misapplication of a word beyond any sensible use (“asked upwards,” “a deafening silence of the wallpaper”); a non-sequitur; omission of words (e.g. “as long as salt before butter”); application of direction to non-directional processes (on the way back from thinking something else)
D — change the point of discussion
A — anthropomorphise
L — like something that ought to bother you
U — unsure
P — made-up proverb
F — fake authority
N — negation combinations (rarely / sometimes none / all / often never / That rarely doesn’t work)
R — fake reason
T — false taxonomy, tautology
M — meaning invested where there is none